“Change is the end result of all true learning.”
― Leo Buscaglia
Isn’t that the truth? What a beautiful quote and great start to my week, and hopefully yours. Change is one of those things one loves and hates at the same time. I for one, usually have a tougher time with change than most. I like my set schedule, my routine, knowing what comes tomorrow. Lately I have been thinking about it though. Is that smart? Or do I just live my life without actually living it. It’s like a well oiled machine, it functions and runs but to what end? Where is it taking me, or rather, where am I taking myself? What have I done so far in this life and what do I really want to achieve? A friend asked me some tough questions Friday night. When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing that brings you into thought? When you go to sleep, what are you pondering? When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep, what do you do? What would you do for free just so you could do it because you have an burning urge to do it but you can’t say why? What is that?
I thought I’d have to think on that for a while, but to my surprise the answers came fast. 3 total and yes, they include photography and children. I am not ready to disclose those 3 thoughts just yet, but I wanted to share the questions. I learn a little bit from every person I meet. I think everyone should learn something from every person they meet. Learning doesn’t just have to be positive either. Think about it. Friday night, I learned a little bit about myself. Who am I kidding. A lot. It was there all along but it took questions and a conversation to put it in perspective. Sometimes those revelations are just plain scary. I learned, now I am changed. Changed inside, but stuck in an external rut. Now that needs to change. To me, that’s hard. With every change and self discovery, there are more questions:
How? When? What? With Who? Alone? Together? Time? Smart? Silly? And so on.
I am lucky to have a very supportive husband. He lets me talk about my thoughts for hours, listens to my different ideas, my back and forth as I struggle to decide, my ups and downs with my passionate heart and then he offers feedback. You see, he is the realistic one, the grounded one. I am an INFJ – which means I am very intuitive and feeling, where as he is an INTJ – a thinker above all, a strategist. Don’t mistake me for a head in the clouds kind of gal though, you couldn’t be further from the truth.
But talking and having feedback from a thinker, emotions set aside is invaluable. Especially for someone like me, who is on a mission to never stop learning. Yes, I’ve realized that when you never stop true learning, then you will always have to change. You have to evolve, grow and start again. I am happy though, as much as I don’t like change, I need it. We need it. It stops us from becoming complacent, from becoming a machine that runs at the same speed, day in and day out. It forces us to reevaluate ourselves, our surroundings, our life. It forces us to adapt and challenges us by taking away the comfort we now. Once you know something will make you a better person, or a worse, you can’t “unknow” it. You are faced with a choice, will you live on with the knowledge and not change, or will you take that knowledge and change?
Most things don’t change overnight. Change takes time. It’s an ongoing process, hopefully with the goal of becoming a better and happier person.
Deanna Ayres 